My 3-day leave is about to end. Well, I still have 8 hours left. I'll be back to work at exactly 530am tomorrow. I don't know if I'm looking forward to it because I enjoy having some My Time. After this, God knows when I'll be able to get another My Time.
What did I do? During Day 1, I had to go to the store to, well, just hang out. People would often ask why I would go to the store even when I'm on leave. Well, the reason is that I won't be working when I'm there. I just go there to, well, chill. I want to experience how it is to be a customer of my own store.
Day 2. I went to Starbucks in Megamall to have my DM discuss my PA with me. Yes, it is work but it's just a few hours so I don't really consider that as working. Besides, it is my excuse to go out and do some retail therapy. My mom doesn't want me going out during my rest days or vacation leaves.
Day 3. I watched Shawshank Redemption for the 2nd time. That movie would always remind me of Enzo 'cause he was the one who recommended it. Yiiihiii. :D Who's Enzo? He's a regular customer and he is so much like Tim Robbins in the movie--quiet, soft-spoken, the type who would never break the law. He's also a banker and he looks so much like Tonton Gutierrez.
What else did I do during my 3-day break? Think. I made a lot of thinking. I made a lot of thinking about you-know-who. I realized that I still don't know what to do...whether to give him up or give in to what I am feeling. If I give him up, I would just have this huge "what if" in my head the whole time. If I give in, I know I'd end up at the losing end...heartbroken and foolish.
Which should I choose? To give up or to give in? Honestly, I do not see any good if I give up. But if I give in, I would finally acknowledge the fact that I am really in love with the guy. I know, I know it's foolish but I see that as a "pro", not as a "con". I have always believed in the saying that "it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." But still, I wouldn't know what to do next.
My horrorscope for today said that "whoever you have been thinking about has been thinking about you too." How would you know if that is accurate? Do I ask him if he's also thinking about me? WOW! The only accurate part there is the fact that I have been thinking about him the whole time. Really. I didn't know that one can spend so much time thinking about a certain person. Seriously. Whether I'm in the shower, doing the dishes, drinking water, taking vitamins, walking home, watching a movie, or just doing nothing...he'll be there in my head. I read somewhere that if one wants to know if what you're feeling is love or lust, one must answer one simple question: "What percentage of the day or night do you think about him/her?" Makes sense, right? Well, all I know is that I think about him before I go to bed and fall asleep thinking about him. And it would be him I would be thinking of the moment I open up my eyes the next day. Seriously, I didn't know it's possible.
So tomorrow's a new day. I will be going back to work tomorrow not knowing what fate has in store for me. One thing's for sure...I'll be thinking of you.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Friday, October 1, 2010
PEE-EHM-EHS
If you're a girl and you get your period regularly then you are all familiar with that monthly dilemma you experience that's so inexplicable you just want to shut yourself out from the whole world.
Yes...that thing called pre-menstrual syndrome is a killer (well not literally) for many women. As defined by wikipedia, it is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle. Physical symptoms may include breast tenderness and zits, among other stuff. Emotional symptoms include dysphoria, or the presence of an unpleasant mood. It is the exact opposite of euphoria.
I know it's way, way too much information for me to say this but, yes...I just got out of one. It's a monthly thing I don't exactly look forward to. Having my monthly period PLUS cramps is a joy as compared to experiencing PMS.
I was soooo irritable for one whole week. To add to that, my self-esteem was at a record low. I couldn't explain it. It felt like it was the end of the world. No one could understand my mood!
The day before my period was the worst day ever. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to strangle everybody who crossed me. I was ready to welcome the worst migraine of my life but nothing came...not one single hint of a headache. All I got was depression! I was chatting with my ASM and I was crying because I couldn't explain what I was feeling. I was so depressed I asked my best friend to call me just to cheer me up. Some were actually saying I was depressed because of this guy, but trust me...it's not him! I was positive he wasn't the reason because I felt totally different the next day. It felt like nothing happened...like I was living a nightmare the day before. Like I was a zombie in reverse!
So, why am I writing about this? It's because women have always been misunderstood. Men think we're crazy because of the mood swings we get. Some men would even try to pick a fight with us during this period. Bad idea!
What should men do when their girl is having these mood swings? I, for one, would just want to be with my man. He doesn't have to say anything, he just has to be there. He can try to bring me flowers, or chocolates, or my favorite dessert, but his mere presence would be ok for me. It would work differently for other women, though. Maybe they want to be alone or maybe they just go out with their man.
Truth is, it's nothing personal. PMS is a normal thing women go through every month. It's nothing to be annoyed about but instead, something that many men must understand. It's as normal as breathing. It's like a deep wound that needs to be treated with utter care and patience so that healing will progress.
Two days after my horrific PMS mode, I feel totally different. I remember feeling so light-hearted despite of the intense cramps I was experiencing. The grey cloud that hovered above me was no longer in sight.
It is proof that it's really nothing personal. It's something that women have no control over. Yes, we can choose our attitude, but PMS has a very strong force over women.
Don't argue! :D
Yes...that thing called pre-menstrual syndrome is a killer (well not literally) for many women. As defined by wikipedia, it is a collection of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms related to a woman's menstrual cycle. Physical symptoms may include breast tenderness and zits, among other stuff. Emotional symptoms include dysphoria, or the presence of an unpleasant mood. It is the exact opposite of euphoria.
I know it's way, way too much information for me to say this but, yes...I just got out of one. It's a monthly thing I don't exactly look forward to. Having my monthly period PLUS cramps is a joy as compared to experiencing PMS.
I was soooo irritable for one whole week. To add to that, my self-esteem was at a record low. I couldn't explain it. It felt like it was the end of the world. No one could understand my mood!
The day before my period was the worst day ever. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to strangle everybody who crossed me. I was ready to welcome the worst migraine of my life but nothing came...not one single hint of a headache. All I got was depression! I was chatting with my ASM and I was crying because I couldn't explain what I was feeling. I was so depressed I asked my best friend to call me just to cheer me up. Some were actually saying I was depressed because of this guy, but trust me...it's not him! I was positive he wasn't the reason because I felt totally different the next day. It felt like nothing happened...like I was living a nightmare the day before. Like I was a zombie in reverse!
So, why am I writing about this? It's because women have always been misunderstood. Men think we're crazy because of the mood swings we get. Some men would even try to pick a fight with us during this period. Bad idea!
What should men do when their girl is having these mood swings? I, for one, would just want to be with my man. He doesn't have to say anything, he just has to be there. He can try to bring me flowers, or chocolates, or my favorite dessert, but his mere presence would be ok for me. It would work differently for other women, though. Maybe they want to be alone or maybe they just go out with their man.
Truth is, it's nothing personal. PMS is a normal thing women go through every month. It's nothing to be annoyed about but instead, something that many men must understand. It's as normal as breathing. It's like a deep wound that needs to be treated with utter care and patience so that healing will progress.
Two days after my horrific PMS mode, I feel totally different. I remember feeling so light-hearted despite of the intense cramps I was experiencing. The grey cloud that hovered above me was no longer in sight.
It is proof that it's really nothing personal. It's something that women have no control over. Yes, we can choose our attitude, but PMS has a very strong force over women.
Don't argue! :D
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